recently...

recently... had been pretty emotional due to all this friendship problem...
at the worst of my time,
i meet with him... my new member....
luckily got him..
he let me understand the overall situation thats happening...
he highlighted,

friends will only be friends.... there is always a border between them..
ya.. totally agreed to him....
and.. he also asked me to put myself at the first place and not other people.....
believe in him. i will so as what i was told..

i did my promise... didnt look at him at all.. didnt think about it also.. pretty happy..
but i beleive he would be the happiest one ba.. haha..

in order to hit my sales target, really very very busy recently...
plus all the stupid paper work together, meeting and others.. arh!!! so so so busy... want bang head dy..


""don know what you will choose, but as long u are happy i will give you my support"

Promise!

fine.

i had taken out the first step to solve all these problems.
since its not acceptable,
i decided to give up.

i promised myself not to be bothered about all these problems again.
if i do it again, i will strike by lighting, bite till dead by ants, a lots of road accidents, cross road bang by cars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

starting from today,

~i got to be strong!
~put money at the first place!
~love myself more than anything else!
~they are just not worth it!!!!!!!!

Apart from work, nothing else i will look for you. i promise and i meant it, and i will do it!

kill me ba..

at this point,
really don know what to do anymore..
wish to bang myself on the wall and just stop everything around...
pretty stressed up due to my sales target ba..

i know where does all these stress come from.
its from myself... and i really cant control it..
perhaps i really set too high expectation on myself..
trying to make it as perfect as possible.

at first,
never think of trying to achieve my target
but later on, saw a mere chance of it..
so really try hard to fight for it..
actually only fight for 95% of total sale target lo...
if i manage to hit at least 95%, only then i can get my commission...

but at this moment, i realise that i want to go for more.
i want to go for 100%
and i still lack of 100k of sales to reach that...

i believe all the stress come from myself...
haiz..

i told my friend, its not because of the commssion..
i just don want to regret,
i wan to show that although i just joined, but i still be able to show a good report card.
therefore im striking really hard for it..

my friend told me to learn from own mistake only can success.
but my principle does no allowed that.
i only want to learn from others mistake and not my own mistake.

haiz..........

together with this,
having serious relationship problem with friends..
just like im standing alone again..
losing them again...
perhaps its my own problem ba...
being too annoying at most of the time....
let people so dislike me...

can i pass thru all these?
i hope i could...
bless me ba...

ending..

i had understand all the problems....
just let it end here ba... from where it starts....

friends will only be friends.
member will only be member.

this is fact. a fact that will not change.

its very hurtful to think and say all these. but, i need to be strong.....


good bye everyone.....

changing....

again,

was not very happy today...
can be said as pretty stress ba....
keep thinking about how to reach my target sales only..
overall today achieve almost 200 boxes of Test Strips.
still got 800 more to go. jia you ba..
thank you for all the support from the pharmacy.

well,
i think i really have to change my lifestyle.
putting friends at the first place does not seems to be a good idea.
perhaps, i really lost the ability to draw the line between us ba...
friends are friends, family are family, these are totally two different subject.
really don know why do i have to always dreaming about merging them up? haiz...
im an idiot... yes im...

gotta change my life style..
i know it will be very difficult. but i will do it....
changing to someone that do not put friends at the first place.
changing to be more independent, so that i don friends at all times.
changing to learn how to be alone.
changing to adapt to my current working society.
changing into a workaholic. really hate playful life..
learn to be quiet... so that i won disturb so many people....

been thinking lately, perhaps really feel too boring ba.. trying to call someone, but seems like im always the annoying one... no matter is towards which group of people...

gotta wake up and totally change myself....

3rd post

pasieh a... got the urge to post.. so, this is the third post one shot..

promised not to think about them... but suddenly saw his profile... makes me feel so sad again lo..
haiz.. thinking whether is the so called brotherhood in the past that we talk about? now call him also like nothing to talk, sms he also no reply, even msn he also don want to reply although its free.

i have pretty strong feeling that once he finish his form 5, we will not contact anymore ba... haiz..

Life..

has been so long didnt update my blog..

suddenly got the urge to update. although at this time i should be working la.. but will write it fast..

feeling pretty lonely recently. do not know what happened also...

well, in work, i realize that i was the top sales in the whole country. Roughly about 500k. the second price winner is only 300k. hm.. pretty happy for myself as i just joined and i manage to get to the number 1 rank in the whole malaysia. perhaps, i was lucky to have a very Aggressive boss and at a Potential Area ba...

till now, still do not have the intention to leave the company. in the past, only my boss is giving me problems. but recently he become so good. don know what happened to him also.. so, pretty happy with my work now.. start to feel the happiness within it and the authority given by the company. love my company!

but the next month will be very stressful lo....
i still need around 100k to reach my target. only 1 month le.. in normal condition, its impossible to get it. unless my customer willing to help me out by ordering goods for the next few months. hopefully my great services in the past will not gone in vain.

if i manage to get my commission, then my Taiwan Trip will be fantastic! haha...

anything here that im worrying. if i manage to persuade them to order goods for the next few months, and i manage to reach my target, then next year de sales how a? hm... never mind la, since i cannot foresee, just concentrate now ba...

hoepefully i can reach my target smoothly ba.....


TAIWAN! IM COMING!!!!!!!

sensitivity

haiz.. am i being too sensitive?

or.. others are not sensitive enough?

all people seems to be so busy until talk to me also no time..
especially when i needed them the most.

will try hard not to think of these problem ba... haiz..

潇洒走一回

失去爸爸的伤一直又在。。。

At his funeral, everyone is so sad. there is no laughter, but only tears and sadness.
my tears never stop.... no matter day or night.....
it keep drooping....

and my mother too.... she cant even control her emotion....
she scream and shout!!!!!!!!
why why why........
why all this happen!!!!!!
why...
i cannot do anything......
i can only stand by her side.......

i still remember when my father first came back home,
when she saw the joss paper,
she scream and shout,
"why, why you want to use this type of money??? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the pain in her heart... who knows........
everyone.....everyone.... keep crying and crying.....
no one are able to control it..........

at that night, when i suppose to choose a coffin for my father,
i really cant control my emotion,.......... totally out of control.......
my cousin hug me... and we cry together........

in the wake, for that 5 days.......
i don know when is morning and when is night..........
i don know what has happened around me........
i really don know...
a lots a lots of people......
who are they????
i don know.....

i was so blur so blur.......
only tears are with me..........
only tears......

the pain......
until now,
its still there......

my mother's mandarin is not good. but she said,
although he had leave us,
but he never wasted his trip here..
he helped endless of people and gain endless of respect.......
he had 潇洒走一回


for most of you, maybe u all didn't heard of this song before..
this is the first song i sang when i was very very young.....
here i attached with the video clip.........

just want to say,
pa, we really miss you very much..
our life has changed so much....
nothing else are more important then you....
there is no way you can return, and we know that......
but every morning when i wake up,
i still hope that i can see you sitting in the living room...
just like before.......

血债血还

True

its true that i am trying to leave your management. i believe you all can feel it.

the reason here is that im really exhausted with all the things around me. really tired. the stress is too big... i cant really accept all this.

second, i believe you all can do it properly.

third, i start to realize that things i have plan does not seems to be so perfect. something is not right someway...

lastly, pretty disappointed in some of the committee....

so,
jia you ba.

specially for you

for those who read my blog,

thanks for reading....

BUT WHY NO COMMENT DE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J.Law and Kirio

They are J.Law and Kirio.
a very famous couple in Beijing..

both of them are very good looking actually... i believe the girls must be sad...

anyway, i think we should not have bias on them... they just like something different from us...
so, i bless them all the best, and wish them can be together forever...

ps: the guy who took those picture in the slide show is GREAT!!!!

Yesterday

Its tuesday...
the first day to start my work...

morning....
sms with my stupid boss....
telling me this and that...
complaining on my claim...
its true that i accidentally incur my own usage in the claim which is not correct..
but.... actually i cant remember too.. maybe its for company?? im not sure..
but anyway, its just 24 cent.... and he gaduh with me for 1 hours...
make me feel so demotivated for the whole day..

noon....
go to Chungky for my lunch....
become the PR officer there again.. haha
then when i was about to go.....
i saw my bro...
so happy to see them actually..
but when i say hi to him...
his attitude is not that good..
a bit irritate me actually..
so i just left without saying anything....
sad actually..

afternoon....
go to work lo..
that stupid XXXXXX Pharmacy de boss...
so unreasonable..
scold me for nothing..
is not that i don want to change for them..
but i don have the stock with me..
keep blaming me..
say that if like this i don want to sell ur product...
your sales is not that great actually...
and u are so childish...
people at the age of 70... still so childish...
luckily ms lee help me.... lend me her meter....
thanks ms lee.... will give u back asap...

evening...
when to see Dr. Raj for my thesis correction..
really thanks for his advice and guidance.
after finishing our topic on thesis..
we start to have a small chat..
i ask him whether i should further my studies?
he said YES without thinking..
he tole me that a Bachelor Degree cant take me far...
i need a Master Degree for that..
i said i do not have the confident and ability to further my studies..
he scolded me and ask who said so???????
really thanks for the trust u have given...
i will further my study to Master no matter how.
but its just a matter of time....

night....
Aunty 6 is in my shop..
we chat and joke around..
actually thinking of going back home to continue my work...
but stuck there...
then meet up with Dr. Raj again... he come my shop to eat...
his wife also ask me to further my studies lo.. haha

then we go for supper... then sleep............
thats all for he day...

People Came Into Your Life For A Reason

This video is very meaningful....
Finally i understand the reason why people come and leave.
this make me think positively about relationship...
i believe i won be so particular in all these anymore ba...
but will this make me have a heart of stone?
i don know...

anyway, thank you everyone that came into my life.
appreciated it.

ICE

In case of emergency (ICE) is a programme that enables first responders, such as paramedics, firefighters, and police officers, to identify victims and contact their next of kin to obtain important medical information. The program was conceived in the mid-2000s and promoted by British paramedic Bob Brotchie in May 2005.[1] It encourages people to enter emergency contacts in their cell phone address book under the name "ICE". Alternately, a person can list multiple emergency contacts as "ICE1", "ICE2", etc. The popularity of the program has spread across Europe and Australia, and has started to grow into North America.

I urge all my friends here to key in their phone of their next of kin with "ICE"

copy and paste in ur post, passing this important information out. thanks.