Promise!

fine.

i had taken out the first step to solve all these problems.
since its not acceptable,
i decided to give up.

i promised myself not to be bothered about all these problems again.
if i do it again, i will strike by lighting, bite till dead by ants, a lots of road accidents, cross road bang by cars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

starting from today,

~i got to be strong!
~put money at the first place!
~love myself more than anything else!
~they are just not worth it!!!!!!!!

Apart from work, nothing else i will look for you. i promise and i meant it, and i will do it!

kill me ba..

at this point,
really don know what to do anymore..
wish to bang myself on the wall and just stop everything around...
pretty stressed up due to my sales target ba..

i know where does all these stress come from.
its from myself... and i really cant control it..
perhaps i really set too high expectation on myself..
trying to make it as perfect as possible.

at first,
never think of trying to achieve my target
but later on, saw a mere chance of it..
so really try hard to fight for it..
actually only fight for 95% of total sale target lo...
if i manage to hit at least 95%, only then i can get my commission...

but at this moment, i realise that i want to go for more.
i want to go for 100%
and i still lack of 100k of sales to reach that...

i believe all the stress come from myself...
haiz..

i told my friend, its not because of the commssion..
i just don want to regret,
i wan to show that although i just joined, but i still be able to show a good report card.
therefore im striking really hard for it..

my friend told me to learn from own mistake only can success.
but my principle does no allowed that.
i only want to learn from others mistake and not my own mistake.

haiz..........

together with this,
having serious relationship problem with friends..
just like im standing alone again..
losing them again...
perhaps its my own problem ba...
being too annoying at most of the time....
let people so dislike me...

can i pass thru all these?
i hope i could...
bless me ba...

ending..

i had understand all the problems....
just let it end here ba... from where it starts....

friends will only be friends.
member will only be member.

this is fact. a fact that will not change.

its very hurtful to think and say all these. but, i need to be strong.....


good bye everyone.....

changing....

again,

was not very happy today...
can be said as pretty stress ba....
keep thinking about how to reach my target sales only..
overall today achieve almost 200 boxes of Test Strips.
still got 800 more to go. jia you ba..
thank you for all the support from the pharmacy.

well,
i think i really have to change my lifestyle.
putting friends at the first place does not seems to be a good idea.
perhaps, i really lost the ability to draw the line between us ba...
friends are friends, family are family, these are totally two different subject.
really don know why do i have to always dreaming about merging them up? haiz...
im an idiot... yes im...

gotta change my life style..
i know it will be very difficult. but i will do it....
changing to someone that do not put friends at the first place.
changing to be more independent, so that i don friends at all times.
changing to learn how to be alone.
changing to adapt to my current working society.
changing into a workaholic. really hate playful life..
learn to be quiet... so that i won disturb so many people....

been thinking lately, perhaps really feel too boring ba.. trying to call someone, but seems like im always the annoying one... no matter is towards which group of people...

gotta wake up and totally change myself....

3rd post

pasieh a... got the urge to post.. so, this is the third post one shot..

promised not to think about them... but suddenly saw his profile... makes me feel so sad again lo..
haiz.. thinking whether is the so called brotherhood in the past that we talk about? now call him also like nothing to talk, sms he also no reply, even msn he also don want to reply although its free.

i have pretty strong feeling that once he finish his form 5, we will not contact anymore ba... haiz..

Life..

has been so long didnt update my blog..

suddenly got the urge to update. although at this time i should be working la.. but will write it fast..

feeling pretty lonely recently. do not know what happened also...

well, in work, i realize that i was the top sales in the whole country. Roughly about 500k. the second price winner is only 300k. hm.. pretty happy for myself as i just joined and i manage to get to the number 1 rank in the whole malaysia. perhaps, i was lucky to have a very Aggressive boss and at a Potential Area ba...

till now, still do not have the intention to leave the company. in the past, only my boss is giving me problems. but recently he become so good. don know what happened to him also.. so, pretty happy with my work now.. start to feel the happiness within it and the authority given by the company. love my company!

but the next month will be very stressful lo....
i still need around 100k to reach my target. only 1 month le.. in normal condition, its impossible to get it. unless my customer willing to help me out by ordering goods for the next few months. hopefully my great services in the past will not gone in vain.

if i manage to get my commission, then my Taiwan Trip will be fantastic! haha...

anything here that im worrying. if i manage to persuade them to order goods for the next few months, and i manage to reach my target, then next year de sales how a? hm... never mind la, since i cannot foresee, just concentrate now ba...

hoepefully i can reach my target smoothly ba.....


TAIWAN! IM COMING!!!!!!!

sensitivity

haiz.. am i being too sensitive?

or.. others are not sensitive enough?

all people seems to be so busy until talk to me also no time..
especially when i needed them the most.

will try hard not to think of these problem ba... haiz..